Oh come on. You saw this coming. Unless this is your first visit (which I doubt) You had to. Valentine's Day is fucking me up already. Who came up with this wack ass holiday that I wouldn't think was wack if I had a real reason to celebrate it? Well instead, I'm celebrating an anniversary of being alone, of having the same sad feeling year after year because God is still preparing him for me. And that thought comforts me, it does, and I know once you mention God there should be no buts, but I just feel lonely. And confused. And I need to stay off of all social networking sites or keep that shit to a minimum because I will go emo in febraury, then turn into the angry lonely woman, then the I don't want to have 37 cats woman. Yeah, it's not such a pretty sight. I wanna write, I think I'll have fuel to write, but sometimes the emotions are so jumbled, it's hard to finish a single track thought, let alone some literature.
The only good thing about V-Day is that every year, I take this time to dive back into The Love Below. I absolutely adore Andre 3000, and this CD speaks to me like nothing else does. So, I suppose, if there is no tangible lover that belongs to me, then I will pretend that The Love Below was written with me in mind. Pitiful, I know, but I gotta do something before I spontaneously combust.
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LadyLove, I feel you. I really and truly do. I definitely am amongst the number of those who find themselves wishing often the year before that by the time February rolls around, I'll have someone to share it with. This continues to not be the case. lol
I admit that the loneliness isn't a great feeling, but I've adopted a different approach to it. Many people like to say that God is still preparing the right person for them. I like to think that if the right person were to come at me right now, I'd mess it up and wouldn't know what do with her. So I feel this time of "being alone"... is the Lord preparing me to be my best for whoever she happens to be. I accept my powerlessness in that regard. But who's to say we can't still have fun on V-Day? I'm going out, I'm doing SOMETHING. This is a brand new year and decade; I refuse to wallow in my loneliness in 2010.
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