Time

I really couldn't think of an excellent title for this post. Time...says it all. I expressed before that time likes to play with me, and on yet another sleepless night, I find time to write this post.

Time has control of my mind. I'm getting a college degree. It is time to start life. But, being the over-zealous planner that I am, I have no plan for this, and it's throwing me off. Time is passing me by, and for once in my busy, to-do list filled life, I'm standing still. Am I being prepared for a particular moment that will shape my future? Am I letting life pass me by? Questions, as always, lol.

And in another capacity, time has control of my heart. I really wish I had known a long time ago that you were suffering just like I have before. I would've understood so much more, I could've helped, I could've been there for you, something. I probably would ratify some writings, because I didn't find out in time. I hope that in time, you will remember me as being beautiful, and not anything else. (blushes)

And a long time ago, a little over a year to be exact, I wish I had known you. I would've made you mine. I know it. There's no reason for me not to. I wish I had gotten there first, so now, we wouldn't have to steal time. And I wish I would've known that we didn't have much time. I would've given you more, given you my best, given you all of me, but alas, our time is up. And in time, we may cross paths again, but for now we have time to be just friends. I question myself time and time again...

I WANT TO LIVE EVERYDAY AS IF IT WERE MY LAST. More and more, I'm learning that that really is the way to live. And financially, and in some other instances, that wouldn't work at all, but I'm talking about time here. I don't want to hesitate about life, and love and living, because tomorrow, I may not be here. But am I bold enought to live this way when no one else is? Am I ready and willing to take a chance and be the odd man out forever? I really want to say yes, but this is one of those things that's easier said than done. Maybe, just maybe, I'll try it. But then, I know, time will find another way to manipulate me.

If time has my mind, and time has my heart, I need to find a way to have time so that I can have me. It only makes sense.