Such a comedian...

My best friend told me recently that right when you get extra discouraged is the moment when God is laughing at you thinking, "You have no idea what I have in store for you." And the truth is, we really don't. I don't always write, so you guys don't always get an accurate depiction of my ups and downs. Usually a person needs to vent more when they're down, and the same is the case for me. Anyway, I was being a comedian for God, making him laugh, and I think he decided to just give me a small taste of my future. A small glimpse of what he could do with no effort at all.

My two biggest worries are my career and my love life. As far as my career, he made a job opportunity possible for me. And I have no idea where this opportunity might go, but the fact that I finally got a positive response after all this time gives me more hope than you know.

As far as my love life, today I found out that a young man who I always thought to be of value has been harboring a crush for me. As of this particular moment, forces and circumstances beyond both of our control prevent us from exploring this attraction any further, but it was nice to know. When a man you value values you, it doesn't define your worth, but I like to think it is like a small turbo boost to your self-esteem. He told me one day I would make a man very happy. I replied, "More than you know."

And just like that, in a dark, damp dungeon of despair, sunlight shone through, and I shouldve known all along. God is in control of my life. Always has been, always will be. I'm sorry to have been discouraged, because I have not lost faith in him at all, but if it's like my friend says, at least he got a chuckle out of it.