I think people should have to give up a toe to get divorced. Maybe then they'd take marriage more seriously.
I used to want to get married. Still do, but I couldn't quite explain why. Marriage is the dumbest shit I ever heard of in my life. Why would you want to marry some sapsucker who's with you for convenience? Hire a live in maid and pay monthly fees to an escort service. Don't ruin my damn life. I want someone who is going to love me as he loves the Lord, and I will treat him like the man that he is, and understand my place as his woman. I want someone to love, honor and protect me. And be honest with me. Marriage is too much pressure for some people. You declare in front of everyone you love and care about that, "Hey, this is the person that I love and care about! And I'm going to put a ring on to prove it! And yes, there is a chance that I might fuck this up!" Why do that to yourself?
And I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't want to be with me. Fuck that shit. So the whole marriage without a label thing, that's sketchy too. But I don't want to be alone either. And I DAMN SURE HELL don't want to be divorced. So what's the solution? When did it all get so complicated? Why can't the manliest man just put me over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes and we begat generations of beautiful babies?
Marriage is a tradition. Of tragedy. Fuck that shit.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
The Fastest Swimmer
"The beautiful tragedy of it is, can't no man on God's green earth or red mars claim me as his, except one. And that's different; I came out of his ballsack."
Even as I spat this wonderfully poetic quote, I knew it wasn't true. There is one other man that I am connected to, have been connected to for some time. The last man that I wrote about here. I have taken too much time off from writing. And hopefully, I can get back to it now, because there are some things that need to be shared.
Looking Back
I visted an old friend of mine. And old post of mine too. Seeing him years later, I understand why I was attracted to him, but at the same time, I felt like Kanye. "Was I on that?!?!" It felt empowering to know that he no longer had a hold on me. Even more empowering to know that we could be friends, comfortable and cool, even though he once held a position of power over me. Was there moderate flirting involved? Of course, but when I'm around, when isn't there moderate flirting involved? Also, if I were to be completely and totally honest, I felt a tinge of empowerment knowing that he looked at me as something that he lost. Something that he once had, but couldn't get back. Still waters run deep. And ships that sail don't return to port.
Standing Still
Every person that you are involved with is a lesson. Right now, I am learning privacy. I am very close to my girlfriends, I choose them carefully, I've known most of them for years, and so we share a lot. ALL of them are telling me to get out of the current situation that I'm in. I've heard preaching, fussing, coaxing, and some of them even cared enough and understood me enough to not ruin the ending and just hand me a bulletproof vest. I love them the most, because at the end of the day, I don't know how this is going to end, but it's not going to end right now. I might be in a horrible situation. This guy could have a puerto rican family on the side! But it's my ending to play out. No one else's. I'm starting to understand the value of privacy. Your girls want to share the happy moments all well as the sad and bad, but in this case, I need to keep it all to myself. When I find out where this is going, or what I am doing, they can either blow bubbles at my wedding (rice kills the birds) or help me set his car on fire. But until that point, I'm in this one alone. With him.
Looking Forward
I have never felt this way about anyone. And I've felt some ways about some people! He is really everything I want right now. He knows what I like, he knows who I am, and refuses to tell me too much. Believe it or not, that's perfect. It's like Wale says, we have the luxury of not knowing each other. But he knows enough about me to make me stay. I think one of my good guy friends was right. I don't need a man right now, I need to focus on my career. It was like deja vu to hear that, because I know it's true. I would focus my energy on that person, and making them happy. It would make me satisfied to see them well taken care of. But I have a greater purpose, so the situation I'm in now is perfect. I cant' have too much of him. He teaches me things, he's patient with me, he's got the same mouth I have, and he makes me nervous! Honestly, if you can't shut me up, there's no point in talking to me. He has no problem putting me on hushmouth, haha. This could very easily end in heartbreak, shit it probably will. But in the meantime, I am occupied, and happy about it.
Even as I spat this wonderfully poetic quote, I knew it wasn't true. There is one other man that I am connected to, have been connected to for some time. The last man that I wrote about here. I have taken too much time off from writing. And hopefully, I can get back to it now, because there are some things that need to be shared.
Looking Back
I visted an old friend of mine. And old post of mine too. Seeing him years later, I understand why I was attracted to him, but at the same time, I felt like Kanye. "Was I on that?!?!" It felt empowering to know that he no longer had a hold on me. Even more empowering to know that we could be friends, comfortable and cool, even though he once held a position of power over me. Was there moderate flirting involved? Of course, but when I'm around, when isn't there moderate flirting involved? Also, if I were to be completely and totally honest, I felt a tinge of empowerment knowing that he looked at me as something that he lost. Something that he once had, but couldn't get back. Still waters run deep. And ships that sail don't return to port.
Standing Still
Every person that you are involved with is a lesson. Right now, I am learning privacy. I am very close to my girlfriends, I choose them carefully, I've known most of them for years, and so we share a lot. ALL of them are telling me to get out of the current situation that I'm in. I've heard preaching, fussing, coaxing, and some of them even cared enough and understood me enough to not ruin the ending and just hand me a bulletproof vest. I love them the most, because at the end of the day, I don't know how this is going to end, but it's not going to end right now. I might be in a horrible situation. This guy could have a puerto rican family on the side! But it's my ending to play out. No one else's. I'm starting to understand the value of privacy. Your girls want to share the happy moments all well as the sad and bad, but in this case, I need to keep it all to myself. When I find out where this is going, or what I am doing, they can either blow bubbles at my wedding (rice kills the birds) or help me set his car on fire. But until that point, I'm in this one alone. With him.
Looking Forward
I have never felt this way about anyone. And I've felt some ways about some people! He is really everything I want right now. He knows what I like, he knows who I am, and refuses to tell me too much. Believe it or not, that's perfect. It's like Wale says, we have the luxury of not knowing each other. But he knows enough about me to make me stay. I think one of my good guy friends was right. I don't need a man right now, I need to focus on my career. It was like deja vu to hear that, because I know it's true. I would focus my energy on that person, and making them happy. It would make me satisfied to see them well taken care of. But I have a greater purpose, so the situation I'm in now is perfect. I cant' have too much of him. He teaches me things, he's patient with me, he's got the same mouth I have, and he makes me nervous! Honestly, if you can't shut me up, there's no point in talking to me. He has no problem putting me on hushmouth, haha. This could very easily end in heartbreak, shit it probably will. But in the meantime, I am occupied, and happy about it.
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