Relax.

The good news is, the guy I wrote about in my last post, I'm no longer seeing. We'll call this guy Ray for the future purposes of this blog. I'm proud of myself for that. I thought to come here because of the haiku project I did in 2009, I revisited it since it is officially Valentine's Day where I am. I've come a long way and I'm still pretty intense, but I've learned to relax some. I haven't written since 2014, so I feel like there's so much I want to say, but we'll just move forward from here. This blog was originally a secret, but I kept telling people about it lmao, so let's just be candid.

Today I feel full of love. I just went to a wedding & I felt a little off beat being there alone, but something about it being Valentine's Day is lifting my spirits. It could also be that I've only slept one hour in the past 25 hours. We'll see for sure when the sun rises. Love has still been a bit of a bumpy ride for me, but my self awareness has helped me realize my part in my unhappiness and what I need to change. I cut ties with Ray, I think we're borderline friends now. That was October 2014, and shortly after I met a guy we'll call D. To make a long story short, D was an upgrade in a lot of ways, I really liked him. But in a lot of ways he was also just like Ray. I saw the huge red flags & chose to ignore them and you can guess how that turned out. I'm not as distraught though, I'm strangely hopeful. If each guy gets better, then eventually I'll get to the right guy. Right now I'm just happy that this greeting card holiday isn't causing me any undue strife. I video blogged yesterday and I think I will enjoy this much more, so we'll talk again sooner than later, lovers. Be kind to yourself today.