Drafts

I was looking back at some drafts for {DD} that I didn't knowhad saved...and they're intersting, so I decided to post them.

10/31/08 Freeflow 3

Hello, world. Happy Halloween!

This, like most freeflows, is NOT going to make any sense. Just bear with me. First of all, I love black people, espescially how they interact with each other when no one is looking, or when everyone is looking. I feel like somebody is playing with me. Looking at my life, setting up situations in it, and laughing at my bitch ass. Oh yes, God has a sense of humor. I put on a one woman show last night, whether I intended to or not. I know I was seen, because...well, I just know. And I can't believe this other sorry sapsucker was singing my muthafucking song today from my muthafucking favorite group! How dare he??!!

3/2/09 Freeflow 6

I saw true beauty in nature tonight. It was so dark, but when I made it to where I was going, the lights of the city really did take my breath away. I felt an adrenaline rush, and at that moment, I wished I had a man to share the view.

I feel like I'm moving at light speed, and as long as I am, I can't see the darkness, the lonliness that awaits me when I lay down at night, when I have the house to myself for the weekend, when I can't sleep and am scrolling through my phonebook, and most of all when it's 2:57 a.m. and I just need to write.

He's out there. And there's a reason I haven't met him yet...there's a reason why I feel so hollow right now. And I'm an independent woman, a real one, one who is self-sufficient, but also realizes that everyone needs love. I guess I'm one of those girls who "got her own".

And what's trivial about all this is that feelings compel me to write, and I hate to be repetititve, or to seem like I have a lack of subjects in my blog, but that's what this space is for. To vent, to think, to reason...and when good things happen, either they'll be so good that I'll write, or they'll be so good that I'm so busy enjoying them that I won't write.


3/24/09 In the Dark

I'm sitting in my room in the dark, and I'm just thinking. About a lot of things, but mostly love. Does it make you bi-polar? Is that acceptable in the vacuum that is love? Or am I just trippin?

I was reading some past entries in my blog, and I realized that I might be crazy. (Not for real) Do things just switch like that? I went from one interest to the next, no pause for the cause...

And what's even more is that love don't love me, right? I'm spending time, energy, and wpms on guys that haven't thought twice about me. Maybe I should think twice about this.

Maybe I shouldn't think at all.

4/1/09 Dangerous Curves Ahead

I guess I got what the fuck I asked for. I really did. I found a man who is just my speed, seems to like me as much as I like him, and I can't be completely sure, but I think we'd be a kick-ass couple.

But he's taken.

Ain't that some shit? Lol...I gotta laugh my damn self. But, I didn't specify...I think I asked for everything I wanted except for him to be single. And this one is funny because nothing about him screams dog, womanizer, abuser, none of that, but all my friends except one think I should leave him alone. And I know I should, given his relationship status, but I don't know why I'm even considering NOT leaving him alone.

Maybe I like him. Maybe I like him a lot.