So, I am, finally, treating a man the way I would never want to be treated. I understand a lot of things that I didn't understand before. It's hard to hurt someone's feelings to tell them that you're not interested for no other reason than you're not interested. Especially after you were nice to them so they may have thought you were.
And, I am, holding back from telling someone the way I really feel about them, which makes me a giant hypocrite because I always want people to be straight up with me. But in a way, I feel like the truth will cause way more drama than not saying anything at all. Is silence a quiet form of lying? (hmm...that should be a new post)
Bottom line...the golden rule is a hard rule to follow.
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Very well raised argument. I never looked at the Golden Rule quite like that before...
I agree with you that sometimes, you want to hold back because you feel it's a means to sidestep the drama. You tell yourself that you're avoiding "ruining the friendship" and making yourself look like a fool if the feelings aren't reciprocated. Keeping silent isn't lying; keeping silent is a means of self-preservation - preservation of your secret, preservation of your existing relationship with the person, preservation of your dignity lol.
The problem is, the one thing that ISN'T preserved, is your sanity. You can drive yourself nuts asking 'what if' while trying to be protective, but without risk, there can be no true reward. If you're okay with the 'what if the other person says yes' question, then maybe it is in your best interest to hold back. If, however, you know that question's going to haunt you... it can't hurt to literally clear your head by making your feelings known, even if in a subtle way.
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